


Wings for an Angel

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Canon, Seasonal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: After an awful freak accident leaves Blair in a coma and Jim wallowing in grief and guilt, the devastated sentinel almost makes a terrible choice.  Luckily help is on hand to show him the error of his ways.
Relationships: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21
Collections: Extravaganza - 2020 'The Sentinel Secret Santa'





	Wings for an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> With apologies to 'It's a Wonderful Life'. :)

**Wings for an Angel**  


**_(With Apologies to ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’)_**  


**Part 1: A Terrible Mischance:**  


**Cascade General Hospital ICU:**  


Sitting at his comatose partner’s bedside, Jim felt worse than he ever recalled feeling in his life before. He felt hollow – his soul eaten out by the grief and guilt that consumed him – but not yet hollow enough to anaesthetise his profound distress and pain. Oh, for sure he’d sat many such vigils in his past. Had even lost so many – too many – good friends, comrades and colleagues. Hell, he’d even lost Sandburg before, except that that time he had been able to call his friend and guide back from beyond. 

But this was so much worse. Because this time it wasn’t just the nature of his job or his painfully frequent misconceptions that had put Blair in the hospital bed, but Jim himself. 

And he knew that as long as he lived he would never, ever forgive himself for that. 

A tiny, logical voice in his head insisted that it had simply been the worst imaginable freak accident. A sentiment reiterated by his friend and boss Simon Banks, as well as the doctors who were now caring for his partner, but it was cold comfort for the distraught sentinel. And as he gazed at the still, pale features of his best friend and partner; the man who had become the light of his life despite Jim’s fighting the inevitable outcome every inch of the way; he knew that if Blair didn’t wake up, one way or another he would soon follow. 

Lifting his friend’s lax hand up to his lips, he carefully kissed the palm, gazing hungrily at Blair’s beloved features as if his concentration alone could rouse the young man from his deep coma, even though he knew that the hope was futile. And as he continued to study the youthful face, he couldn’t help but ponder on the events that had led them both to this point, morbidly considering it was both justifiable and necessary even as it increased his burden of guilt. 

And as expected, his thoughts brought him little comfort or clearer understanding. 

Following the dreadful ‘diss disaster’, when Jim knew he had behaved unconscionably towards Blair; his despised fear responses making him lash out once again in self-defence; Blair had taken it upon himself to try and right his and Naomi’s unintentional mistake by deliberately falling on his sword to protect his sentinel. That incredible act of self-sacrifice had made Jim sit up and take notice, realising just how much the younger man loved him, and deciding that it was past time that he acted with a little less selfishness. Although to his shame he had still lacked the courage to actually come out and admit to his hypersensitivity, yet he could at least try and offer some sort of compensation in recognition of Blair’s own selfless bravery. 

Thus it was that with the help of Simon and the cooperation of the Commissioner and Chief of Police, who were now also privy to his secret, he had conjured up the badge offer in the hope that Blair would forgive him enough to take him up on it and become his official partner. 

And of course, what did Blair do, but jump in with both feet. He had taken the necessary steps to restore enough personal credibility in order to enter the academy for the appropriate abbreviated course, emerging as a fully qualified detective and ready to take up his proper place at Jim’s side. It hadn’t been easy, but he had obtained an out-of–court settlement from Berkshire Publishing for releasing his intellectual property without permission, plus a grudging apology from Rainier on Chancellor Edwards’ behalf and the admission that the diss had never actually been submitted anyway. 

He had still denied that his paper was anything but fiction in order to protect Jim, but since then Jim had finally realised that many of his colleagues had already guessed the nature of his ‘edge’ and his gift had become an open secret within the department. The result was that Blair had regained a great deal more acceptance and respect within the force than he had expected. 

They had continued to work together as an effective team, much to Simon Banks’ satisfaction, and just recently they had finally taken that last step and committed to each other to become partners in all ways. 

And that was when everything went so very wrong, although neither of them could have foreseen the upcoming disaster. 

With Christmas approaching, they had decided to go together to a respected jeweller’s shop in Cascade’s most popular and up-market mall in order to choose rings to celebrate their commitment. Blair had been so excited, and Jim couldn’t help but smile at his young lover’s innocent joy. But then everything had gone belly-up when an armed and masked man had barged into the shop, intent on robbery. He had clearly been high on something, visibly strung-out and his demands and movements erratic, but Jim had managed to get the drop on him and shot the gun out of the perp’s hand with sentinel precision. However, by a sheer fluke, his bullet had ricocheted off a metal support pillar behind the perp and struck Blair in the head. 

As Jim had looked on in absolute horror and disbelief, the young man had sunk slowly to the ground, his eyes wide with surprise and shock before they closed, and that was the last expression Jim had seen on his beloved’s face. 

Shuddering in remembered terror, Jim rubbed his hand over his face, trying unsuccessfully to expunge the awful image even as a tear leaked from the corner of his tightly-closed eyes. 

How could it have happened? What did his lover do to deserve such incredibly bad luck, and why did it have to be Jim who had caused such mayhem? If there was a God somewhere, he had a lot to answer for in Jim’s bitter opinion, because the doctors freely admitted that they were less than optimistic about the chances of Blair recovering. 

And if he never did, Jim had absolutely no idea how he would survive alone.  


\-------------------------  


Jim must have dozed a little then, his exhaustion catching up with him at last, because he was roused by a gentle hand shaking his shoulder. He glanced up to see one of the ICU nurses smiling gently down at him. 

“Detective Ellison? Jim. You need to leave for a while to let us carry out a few procedures on Blair. Doctor Mullings also says you need to go home and get some rest. Your Captain Banks is here to give you a ride home.” 

Jim opened his mouth in automatic denial, only to catch a glimpse of his boss through the cubicle window. Simon’s expression was sympathetic, but resolute, and Jim realised that the man wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. Sighing despondently, Jim rose stiffly to his feet, offering the nurse a weak grin, although it didn’t reach his eyes which remained desperately sorrowful. 

He left the cubicle after gently kissing Blair’s smooth brow and a murmured, “Be back soon, babe, I promise. You behave for the nice nurse now, OK?” 

But of course there was no response, and he hadn’t really expected one. 

Studying his friend and subordinate intently, Simon squeezed Jim’s shoulder as he said, “How’s he doing, Jim? I know the doctor reckons that there’s no change, but what do _you_ think? I mean,” he added softly, “do your senses or your ‘special connection’ tell you anything useful?” 

Jim returned his gaze for a long moment, his own expression bleak. “No, Simon. No change. And if these damned senses are good for anything, they’d be able to tell me if he was any nearer to waking. And he’s not. But even so, I don’t want to leave him, sir. I want to stay with him.” 

Simon pursed his lips in sympathy, although his reply was adamant as he shook his head. “No can do, Jim, and you know it. You need to go home, shower and change. You can’t stay in ICU in your current state, as you well know. And you also know that the staff here will inform you immediately if there’s any change at all, don’t you? Don’t make me make this an order, man. Just do as the doc says, and get something to eat and get some rest. You can come back in a few hours, OK?” 

And Jim could do nothing else but obey, even though he was determined to return as soon as possible and stay as long as necessary thereafter.  


\----------------------  


**Part 2: A Desperate Wish:**  


Sitting comfortably on a pillow of clouds, Benny grinned happily as he strummed on his guitar. It was a gleaming silver and gold Fender Stratocaster and he was immensely pleased with it. He wasn’t and never would be a harp man, and this was a far better option as far as he was concerned. His beaming white smile lit his dark features, and his sparkling eyes testified to his contentment as he tapped his foot and hummed along with the music. Suddenly, however, he became aware of a visitor, and he smiled inquisitively up at the kindly-looking but solemn older man who appeared before him. 

“Yo, boss! What brings you here? Come to listen to my music, man? I think I’m getting better!” 

The other man grinned briefly as he shook his head. “No, I haven’t come to listen, Benny, although I agree that you’re really getting quite proficient now. I know you never got on with that harp, did you? 

“But I do have something important to tell you, my son. There’s a job needs doing, and I think you’re just the man for it. Are you interested?” 

Benny jumped to his feet and laid the guitar down carefully as he replied excitedly, “A job just for me? Oh, man, yes, please, boss! I didn’t expect it so soon, I admit. After all, I’ve only been here in the Celestial Holding Area for what? Thirty years?” 

“Around about that, Benny,” the other man chuckled, “but this is definitely one for you, so if you’ll come with me, I’ll show you what I mean…”  


**Shortly afterwards, the loft:**  


Jim sat disconsolately on the sofa, unaware of the unseen eyes watching him with sympathetic interest. He had done as requested, and had showered and changed, and even forced down the sandwich with which Simon had presented him, but that was as far as his unwilling cooperation went. Promising Simon that he would try and catch up on a few hours’ sleep before his friend returned to take him back to the hospital, he had waited until he heard Simon’s sedan drive away before going to the lock box in which he kept his service weapon. Removing the 9mm Glock almost reverently, he had returned to the sofa and sat down, contemplating the handgun intently. 

It was his personal firearm of choice – always had been – and it had seen him through many tough situations, even though he ruefully admitted to himself that he had dropped it on more than one occasion. It almost felt like an extension of him, so familiar was it in his hand. But now it was also something to be hated, because it had unwittingly become the instrument of Blair’s fearful injury. 

_Then again,_ Jim thought reluctantly, trotting out an age-old argument, _a firearm in itself is harmless. It’s the idiot holding it that causes the problem!_ And in his case, he certainly believed he fit the description. 

Turning it over in his hands, he checked it over carefully before loading a full magazine and pulling back the slide to chamber a round. Now it was ready for action. Whatever action he required. 

Looking on, Benny turned to his companion, a worried expression marring his normally cheerful features. “He’s not suicidal, is he? I mean, I didn’t expect that, despite the awful circumstances! But he’s certainly depressed enough though, I guess!” 

His companion shook his head. “No, Benny, probably not just yet, although it is a possibility later on, sad to say. No, there’s another reason why I brought you here. An even more troubling one. Listen!” 

And as they both turned their attention back to the scene before them, Jim began to talk quietly to himself, berating himself and mercilessly ladling on the guilt. 

“God, you sad bastard! Look what you’ve done now! Everything you’ve done or tried to do seems to come back and bite you in the ass! Everyone you’ve ever loved or cared for has left you one way or the other. Betrayed you so that you believed that no one would ever love you enough to stay around. Because what do you have to offer after all? 

“Until Blair. My beautiful Blair. Who I treated like shit most of the time, and yet he still came back for more. Dammit, if he wasn’t so forgiving – so loyal – he would have walked away long ago, and would never have had so much pain to deal with by sticking with me! 

“I should finish it now, but I guess I can’t yet. If he ever wakes up, Blair would never forgive me if I took my own life before he truly left his. I’ll just have to wait patiently until then, and hope that we’ll soon be together again. 

“But goddammit, it’s not fair! Not fair that he should suffer like this! And he wouldn’t if it wasn’t for me! I wish…I wish I’d never been born! What good am I to _anyone?”_

At this despairing wail of pure grief, Benny and his companion exchanged a speaking glance and a knowing nod. 

“Yes, Benny,” the older man said softly. “Time for you to get to work! Good luck, my boy.”  


\----------------------  


Still seated on his sofa, Jim was startled out of his morose contemplation by a sudden knocking on the apartment’s door, and he turned in his seat, a confused frown on his face. Gods, he knew he was tired, but his senses had completely failed to pick up on anyone approaching, and the realisation troubled him. Frowning in suspicion, he rose to his feet, still clutching the Glock even though he hid it behind his back while he cracked the door open, leaving the chain in place. 

Peering through the gap, he studied his visitor carefully, somewhat bemused by the man’s appearance. He looked to be in his late twenties to early thirties; slender, dark-skinned and graceful. He was nattily dressed and smiling widely, his eyes sparkling in genuine pleasure as he spoke. 

“Ah, Detective Jim Ellison? I know that this is probably a bad time, but I’m here to help you. Can I come in?” 

His whole demeanour was open and ingenuous, and Jim could detect nothing untoward about him whatsoever. However, he wasn’t in the mood for visitors or conversation, and tried as politely as he was able to send the man on his way. 

“You’re right, it is a bad time, and I doubt you can help me. I don’t know who you are, but you should leave now, OK?” 

Nevertheless, he found to his astonishment that he was releasing the chain and opening the door to allow the young man to enter. _What the heck?_

Stepping inside, Benny looked around him with interest before facing Jim again and holding his hand out in greeting. 

“Hi, Jim. I’m Benny, and I’m so pleased to meet you!” 

By now totally bewildered, Jim shoved his Glock down the waistband of his jeans and held out his hand also. “Um, yeah, pleased to meet you too, I think? Er, you know, you look like Eddie Murphy…” 

Benny threw back his head and laughed. “You know, everyone says that!” he chuckled, “although I can’t see it myself. I mean, after all, he’s not dead yet!” 

“You mean, you are?” a decidedly puzzled Jim asked, by now wondering if he’d actually lost it in his grief. 

“Sure!” his new acquaintance replied cheerfully. “Been hanging around the Celestial Holding Area for a few years now, waiting for my chance to make good!” 

“Celestial Holding Area? D’you mean, like, God’s Waiting Room?” Jim couldn’t help but ask snidely, only to grin reluctantly at the smart response. 

“‘God’s Waiting Room’? Nah, that would be Florida, wouldn’t it?” 

Sobering again, Jim frowned as he mused, “So, are you some sort of wannabe angel, Benny? Why are you really here, huh?” 

Benny placed a comforting hand on Jim’s shoulder, his own expression now serious as he replied, “Why, Jim, I’m here to grant you your wish, man! You said you wished that you’d never been born, didn’t you? I can grant that wish for you, but before I do, I’d like to give you a peek at a world that has never known James Ellison. It won’t take long, I promise. Then you can make an informed decision. Are you up for it?” 

Knowing that he had a while yet before he could return to the ICU, Jim shrugged almost indifferently. “Sure. Why not?” he muttered ungraciously. 

And immediately the loft disappeared and he found himself standing in a well-remembered jungle, Benny at his side.  


\-----------------------  


**Part 3: Revelations of a Wondrous Nature:**  


Jim gazed around him, a deep frown creasing his brow. Before him lay the wreckage of a downed Huey, overgrown somewhat by jungle foliage now, and surrounded by what little remained of its occupants. In the distance he could hear voices, and knew immediately what Benny was showing him. 

“This is the helicopter I should have been shot down in, isn’t it? And those voices belong to the drug smugglers I was sent here to stop by holding the Chopec Pass.” 

“Yes, Jim, I’m afraid it is,” Benny replied sadly. “Because you were never born, there were no survivors; no one to bury his comrades; and without their adopted sentinel, the Chopec had to fend for themselves. And as you can hear, the drug smugglers have pretty much made the area their own. 

“And that’s not all,” he continued, as the scene fast-forwarded to show a deserted village bisected by a wide, rough track through the jungle. 

“But…but that’s the Chopec village!” gasped Jim, horrified. “Where are they? What’s happening?” 

Benny looked even more solemn as he explained, “They’re all pretty much wiped out, Jim, with just a few scattered pockets of survivors. The area is now being worked by Cyclops Oil, and they’ve cleared a large swath of rainforest since the environmentalists were unable to prevent them from moving in. The indigenous people never stood a chance against such ruthless corporate power.” 

Jim sat down with a thump, his legs giving way in his despair. “So you’re telling me that I could have prevented all this destruction if I was born, huh? That’s pretty harsh, isn’t it?” 

Benny smiled sadly as he nodded. “Yes, I guess it is, Jim, but there’s more. You ready to see it?” 

Jim sighed, almost afraid now to witness further revelations, but he knew it had to be done. “OK, Benny. What else do you have up your sleeve?” 

His companion just grinned secretively, and then they were standing in the back yard of a small suburban house, watching a man lighting up an ancient BBQ, apparently expecting visitors. He was a tall black man, but somewhat stooped, his hair greying and his movements weary and deliberate. But when he turned around, Jim gasped in shocked recognition. Simon looked far older than his years, his face drawn and sad, although he raised a brief grin for the visitor who had just entered through the back gate. And that visitor shocked him even further, because it was none other than Joel Taggert. 

“What’s this? I don’t understand!” Jim murmured, gazing in confusion from the two men to Benny and back again. “Why is Simon at home, and not at the PD?” 

Benny met and held his gaze, his head tilted to one side as he answered, trying to gauge Jim’s reaction to his explanation. 

“Simon retired from the PD, Jim, after he lost his son and many of his colleagues in a siege. The Sunrise Patriots took over the Central PD Building and killed a lot of the people remaining inside before making their escape, including Daryl. Simon could do nothing to prevent it, and the guilt broke him.” 

“Oh, dear God,” Jim breathed. “Poor Simon. Shit, poor Daryl! No wonder he didn’t want to go on. He thought the world of that kid! 

“But what about Joel? Did he leave for the same reason?” 

At that, Benny shook his head and smiled a little sadly. “No, Jim, not because of that. He left because he lost his nerve and couldn’t hold down his job as Captain of the Bomb Squad. But he runs a homeless shelter now, so he’s happy enough. He still thinks the world of his friend Simon Banks, though, and makes an effort to see him as often as he can.” 

Jim shook his head, trying his best to absorb all this new information, although he had a sneaking feeling that Benny wasn’t finished with him yet. And he was so right. 

With bewildering speed, the scene changed to one of a cold and wet cemetery, where an internment was taking place. It was clearly someone of some importance, judging by the crowd of suitably sober, well-dressed attendees at the graveside. Jim frowned at the understated but still obvious wealth on display, and gaped in utter confusion at the sight of his brother Steven standing in the forefront. 

“What the hell?” he muttered, only to pull back in horror as he read the nameplate on top of the expensive casket. ‘William Ellison’. “Dad! It’s Dad!” he whispered. “What? _How?_ ” and he turned to Benny for enlightenment. 

However, this time, Benny simply turned him gently back around to face the scene saying quietly, “Watch and listen, Jim.” 

Stunned beyond argument, Jim did so, seeing a smooth, corporate type lay a supposedly comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder. He thought he recognised the man as one of his father’s business acquaintances, and he growled as he listened to the man’s words, his demeanour fairly oozing with patently false sympathy. 

“I’m truly sorry for your loss, Steven. It’s a terrible thing, to be sure. To think that your father of all people should fall foul of the ‘Country Club Strangler’! Who would have believed it? And why he hasn’t been caught yet, who knows? It’s a disgrace, for certain. 

“But then again, my boy,” he continued conspiratorially, “as William’s only son, you do stand to inherit a fair sum of money, don’t you? And the company too. You’re going to be a wealthy young man!” 

And there was no mistaking the avaricious gleam in his brother’s eyes or the small smirk as he replied quietly, “Yes, I am, aren’t I?” 

It was almost too much for Jim to bear, and he had to dash unwanted tears from his cheeks as he gazed despairingly into Benny’s warm understanding eyes. “I get it, I do. But somehow I don’t think you’ve finished with me yet. You’re going to show me what happens to Blair, aren’t you? But surely it can’t be worse than what it already is, can it?” 

And all Benny would do in response was raise a quizzical eyebrow as he took Jim’s arm. “Shall we?” he invited, and the scene shifted abruptly to a bleak, institutional hospital ward. 

But it wasn’t Blair lying motionless in the bed, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. 

“Alex!” gasped Jim. “That’s Alex Barnes! And that’s Blair sitting at her bedside! My God! What’s going on? He looks terrible!” 

It was true. Blair looked thin and tired, his haggard face totally lacking its usual animation as he gazed at the comatose woman in the bed. His eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, but the deep sorrow in his expression didn’t seem to be particularly self-directed. Which didn’t surprise Jim at all, knowing that his kind-hearted young friend would sympathise even with a murdering bitch like Barnes. 

“What happened, Benny? Why is he here, and why are there two detectives standing by? Tell me, please!” 

Benny looked suitably grave as he said gently, “Blair is here because she is his sentinel, Jim. He managed to find her and help her gain control of her senses in exchange for using her data for his doctoral dissertation. Which he achieved, by the way. But she used him, Jim, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was forced to accompany her on several serious crimes, including stealing VX nerve gas, which is when she returned to the Temple of the Sentinels and re-immersed herself in the pools there.” 

“‘Fried her circuits’, you mean,” growled Jim scathingly, understanding only too well. “Serves the bitch right! But does this mean that Blair will be charged too? He would never willingly do anything so despicable.” 

“Not willingly, no,” Benny replied sadly. “But he will still be charged with being an accomplice, willing or not. Listen!” 

As Jim turned back to watch the scene play out, Blair stood tiredly after one last look at the still figure on the bed. Turning to face the two detectives, one of whom looked very like Henri ‘H’ Brown, he said quietly, “Thank you for allowing me a few minutes with her, detectives. I appreciate it.” 

He walked slowly towards them, his wrists held out to be cuffed as he continued candidly, “I know she played me for a naïve fool. And I’m disgusted with myself for allowing it to happen. I honestly didn’t realise she was a criminal until it was too late, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. 

“But you know what the very worst thing is? For a while I actually believed that she was my Holy Grail! How sad is that?” and his words choked off on a despairing sob. 

As one of the detectives cuffed him, the other began to Mirandize him, and the scene faded, even as Jim stretched out his hand to his lover in a useless gesture. 

And then dropped his face into his hands and wept in bitter grief for a life thus wasted.  


\---------------------------  


**Part 4: A Choice to Make:**  


When Jim raised his head again, he found that he was back in the loft, seated once again on the sofa, the Glock lying beside him. Benny was standing at the window, backlit by the weak winter sun behind him. He was watching Jim intently, but with a gentle and understanding smile on his face. Jim wasn’t sure whether it was a trick of the light, but Benny seemed to shimmer with a subtle aura making him look positively ethereal. 

“Thank you, Benny,” he murmured feelingly, “for showing me all this, even though it was hard to see. I understand now that I was being selfish – again – and not thinking beyond my own pain. But you’re right. Although Blair is still in real danger, thanks to me, he would have suffered so much more by letting Alex claim him for her own. He’s such a gentle soul, the guilt would cripple him, and I don’t even want to think of how that ‘other Blair’ would have survived a prison sentence! 

“But is it too late to take it back? You said you’d grant my wish if I wanted it, but I don’t. Not anymore. I need to live. To stay with Blair for as long as he has, whether he wakes up or not, and then be courageous enough to live with my mistakes. Can I do that?” 

Benny’s smile was wide and happy then. “Jim, my man, I’m more than glad to NOT grant your wish! The world is a better place for you being in it, Detective Ellison, so I think you’d better put away that gun and go see your partner, OK?” 

Stepping forward until he stood in front of Jim, he reached down and hauled the other man to his feet, his grin almost mischievous as he raised his hand in a Spock-like salute. “Live long and prosper, Jim! My work here is done!” 

And then he was gone, as if he had never been, and Simon was hammering on the door of #307. 

“You going to open up anytime soon, Jim? I’ve come to take you back to the hospital! Come on man, wake up and shake a leg!” 

Jim shook himself instead and moved quickly to open the door, eager to get back to his lover’s side. He knew that he couldn’t even begin to explain to his prosaic boss and friend what had just happened. _If_ it had? But he promised himself that if Blair woke up, he would tell him everything, because he just knew that his open-minded young lover would accept it at face value and probably be utterly fascinated. 

He just had to wake up.…  


\-------------------------  


**Some time later, back in Cascade General ICU:**  


Once again Jim sat beside Blair’s bed, holding his lover’s hand and gently stroking the smooth forehead. Blair looked so peaceful, still so beautiful despite the wide bandage around his head. Jim smiled wistfully as he talked softly to his beloved, convinced that the young man could hear him, and praying that it would encourage him to wake up at last. He so needed to see those big blue eyes again, open and sparkling with intelligence and love for his undeserving sentinel. However, he told himself that even if Blair had been damaged, and was no longer the Blair of old, he would love and cherish him still for as long as they lived, and he would never take for granted a single day spent together. 

Deciding that there was no time like the present, he told Blair about everything that he had experienced, and what had been revealed to him, and also confessed what he had been so foolishly tempted to do. He talked long into the night before finally dozing off, still holding his lover’s hand, and resting his forehead on the bed beside their joined hands. And then suddenly he was certain that a voice in his ear - sounding very like Benny – was urging him to wake up. Sitting up suddenly, perplexed and gazing quickly around him, he frowned as he realised that there was no one else there but he and Blair. _Who? **What?**_

His eyes returned to Blair’s face – to see two bleary blue orbs regarding him sombrely. 

“Blair! Oh gods, you’re awake! Do you know me, babe? Are you OK?” He knew he was babbling, but couldn’t help it, desperately excited yet also terrified in case Blair wasn’t _His_ Blair anymore. 

But then the young man smiled, just a little, and breathed, “Jim…” and Jim’s world righted itself again.  


\--------------------------  


**Epilogue:**  


It was the night before Christmas, and Jim and Blair lay cuddled together on the sofa in front of a roaring fire, thoroughly appreciating each other’s proximity. Since waking up in ICU, Blair had made good progress, enough so that his doctors had released him from hospital in time for Christmas, provided of course that he took it easy and allowed his doting partner to care for him as needed. Which of course Jim was more than willing to do. The young man was still somewhat shaky, and needed plenty of rest, but he was so grateful to be home again, spoiled rotten by his lover, and truly looking forward to spending the holiday together in the loft for a change. 

“You know, Jim, this is great, isn’t it? I mean, being able to enjoy Christmas Day at home for once. I know you were never all that bothered about the festive season before, but this is special, isn’t it? I love you so much, man, and you’re so good to me!” 

Jim tucked his warm bundle of guide closer into his side as he grinned ruefully down into the softly smiling face. “If I am, it’s only because you deserve it, babe, especially since it was me that hurt you after all. But even if it was for some other reason, I’ll always be here for you, babe. I know now that we were meant to be together. Not only as Jim and Blair, but I was meant to be your sentinel, and you were meant to be my guide. And I’m so grateful for finally getting that through my thick skull. 

“But look, lover, it’s nearly midnight. Do you want to open your present now?” 

Blair nodded eagerly, knowing already what it would be, and the significance of it. “Yes please, Jim! I don’t want to wait any longer!” 

Jim reached down and lifted a small, gaily-wrapped box from where it nestled beneath the small but beautifully trimmed tree beside the sofa. He also reached for a similar package lying next to it, intending to open his gift at the same time. 

As Blair eagerly ripped open the paper to reveal a small jeweller’s box, Jim unwrapped his package rather more sedately – and neatly – before meeting Blair’s eager gaze. 

“Together, babe?” he murmured, and Blair nodded excitedly. 

“Together, man! Three, two, one!” and they simultaneously opened their boxes to reveal matching commitment rings. Rings which were beautiful in their simplicity, and perfect for the occasion. 

Their smiles were wide and happy as they placed the rings on each other’s fingers, and kissed gently in deference to Blair’s still somewhat fragile state, but both knew that they were as one, now and forever. 

Suddenly, a tiny bell on the tree tinkled softly, and both men looked up inquisitively to watch before turning to face each other again. 

Blair smiled warmly into Jim’s loving eyes as he murmured, “I think that Benny just got his wings, don’t you?” 

To which Jim replied, “Yep, I think so too, babe! Merry Christmas, Sweetheart!” 

And it was.  


**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the result of a plot bunny sent to me by Patt (Pattrose). Thank you so much, my dear, for letting me play with it, and I hope you like what I've come up with. :)  
> K x


End file.
